did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
