I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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