Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
