Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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