Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
