i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
