rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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