omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
