Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
