I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize