i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
