Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
