i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
