I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
