Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
