weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
oh god the rape fog is back!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
