hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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