Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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