So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
