I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize