I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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