I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
