god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize