FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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