THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
