Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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