i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
