its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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