Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
