Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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