Christians are straight up FREAKS
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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