Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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