Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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