it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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