My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
is that a dick in a sweater?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Never underestimate the power of titties
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