Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
