I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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