woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
