How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
