I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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