Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
