just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
