He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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