WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
