I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
