oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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