Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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