Will you blow on my dice?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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