is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
