so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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