people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
