Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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