i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
