Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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