the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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