So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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