haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize